What is binge eating disorder?
Binge eating disorder is characterized by repeated episodes of eating a large amount of food or eating until you’re uncomfortably full. It’s associated with a sense of loss of control around food and feelings of shame that occur after the binging. It can lead to eating more rapidly than normal and eating alone due to feeling embarrassed. Binge eating episodes occur at least once per week or more over a period of 3 months. You might struggle with binge-eating but not meet the full criteria for binge-eating disorder.
If you’re someone with binge eating disorder, the holidays can feel even more stressful. If you’ve felt out of control with food, a holiday meal can feel threatening. Especially if you’re someone who tries to control their food intake throughout the week or may avoid certain foods altogether. You might have felt like you can’t trust yourself around food, or maybe you’re hard on yourself after you’ve binged. As a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, I have some thoughts on how to navigate this, and they might surprise you.
Tip # 1. Try to Eat Regular Meals Throughout the Day
Under-eating can be one of the major triggers for binge-eating episodes. That means saving up calories for dinner, skipping meals, or eating very small portions. Trying to eat less food before a big meal tends to backfire and can lead to overeating. When you’re in a ravenous state, it’s hard to notice when you’re feeling full. Your body goes into starvation mode which can lead to eating too fast without noticing fullness. I recommend that you eat regular meals before your Thanksgiving dinner and treat the holiday like any other day. The goal is to not go too long without eating food, so you’re hungry before dinner, but not starving.
Tip # 2. Eat Thanksgiving Food That Sounds Good
If you have too many food rules on what you can and can’t have at Thanksgiving dinner, you won’t feel satisfied and might overeat as a result. You can feel “stomach full” but still want more if you’re not eating foods that you enjoy. Giving yourself full permission to eat while prioritizing a variety of foods will help you feel both mentally and physically satisfied. It might sound radical and scary to do this, but the more you give yourself that permission, the less mental space food will occupy. If you can fully trust that the food will always be there, your brain won’t operate on that feeling that it can be taken away. Scarcity mindset is very real and can exist even when you’re not dealing with food insecurity. When food has a lot of conditions attached to it, Thanksgiving can have that “last supper effect” where it feels like this is the only chance, you’ll get to eat the foods you want. Embracing this intuitive eating principle will be most beneficial if you practice it every day before and after Thanksgiving.
Tip # 3. Pretend You’re a Food Critic
Binge eating can feel very fast and impulsive, which is why doing the opposite action can be helpful. Slowing down can look like noticing the taste, texture, and sensory experience of eating the food. Paying more attention to how food tastes can lead to more satisfaction and help you be in tune with your fullness cues. The crunchy topping on your green bean casserole or the tart flavor of your cranberry sauce are just a few examples of what that can be like. Asking yourself whether the food you’re eating tastes good is another way to slow things down. Just don’t tell the host if you decide you don’t like the food, and find something different to eat instead.
Tip #4. Pause and Check In
Perhaps you’re at a crossroads and wondering whether you’ll want seconds. You can practice taking a moment to check in with yourself. Try asking “Am I still hungry?” and see what happens. If the answer is yes, then give yourself permission to get some more food. If the answer is no, but you really want to try your aunt’s sweet potato casserole, then consider trying that food anyway. Intuitive eating isn’t about just eating when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re full. It’s about being in tune with your bodily signals and making choices that are intentional. Making a choice to try a new food even though you might not be hungry is still a conscious decision. Sometimes it’s worth tasting a new food because it’s an important holiday or a special occasion.
If you notice that you’re not hungry but still want to eat anyway, then you can be curious about that. Is there something else that you need? Sometimes emotional eating is triggered when your needs are not met in other areas. It could be everything from poor sleep, not enough alone time, loneliness, or having no emotional outlets. Avoiding our feelings is like holding a beach ball underwater. The moment you let go of the ball; it shoots right up out of the water. The more you suppress your feelings, the more intense the behavior will be.
Tip # 5. Observe Your Experience Like You’re a Scientist
Scientists test out hypothesis to see if something works from a place of intellectual curiosity, not judgement. I want you to approach Thanksgiving In a similar way by noticing what happens throughout the day. If you do wind up binging or overeating, then treat that experience as new information. What are the aspects of the experience that led to the binge? What did you learn that can be applied to the future? What do you need to do throughout the day to reduce the likelihood of a binge? You can explore the situation from a neutral place without being hard on yourself. You can also try journaling before the binge eating behavior happens. If you notice an urge pause, and jot down some notes on how you’re feeling in that moment. This is another way to collect data about your experience while also slowing down the binging eating process.
Tip # 6. Practice Self-Compassion
Wherever you are on your journey, try practicing non-judgmental curiosity towards your whole self and your relationship with food. Binge eating tends to lead to a lot of feelings of shame and guilt afterwards. While binge eating is uncomfortable, it doesn’t determine whether you’re a good person nor is it a sign of failure. You can work on trying to change those behaviors while still being kind to yourself. My unpopular opinion is that emotional eating isn’t always a bad thing and can sometimes be the safest coping skill you have access to.
Seek Professional Support
Maybe it’s hard to notice your hunger and fullness cues, which might make intuitive eating not accessible. This is when I recommend additional support around food whether it’s a registered dietician or an eating disorder therapist. While I’ll always sing the praises of intuitive eating, I understand it’s not for everyone. If you’re just beginning your recovery journey, then you might need more structure with food at first. This can look like eating your meals on a schedule and aiming to eat all the food groups each meal. You’re relying more on external structure rather than your own body cues. As you get further along in your recovery, you might be more in tune with your hunger and ready to rely on your internal cues. Intuitive eating is a great step when you’re further along in recovery or struggling with emotional eating but don’t meet the full criteria for a binge eating disorder.
Looking for specialized therapy?
I’m an intuitive eating counselor and Certified Eating Disorders Specialist who is passionate about helping people find peace with food. Intuitive eating was central to my own healing and continues to help me to this day. My approach is weight inclusive and Health at Every Size aligned, which means I won’t prescribe weight loss as the solution and help you unpack how diet culture has affected your well being. If you’re curious about working together, please reach out to schedule a free consultation. I offer a safe, non-judgmental space to help you make meaningful changes in your relationship with food.
