What if That Healthy Diet is Disordered Eating in Disguise? Thoughts from an Eating Disorder Therapist in Philadelphia.
As someone who’s been in recovery, there were so many eating patterns that I thought were normal. When intermittent fasting and Whole 30 started getting popular, I started to question whether these diets were sustainable. I brought this to my therapist who introduced me to intuitive eating, and that changed the game completely for me. A few books and a podcast later, I went on a path to be an eating disorder specialist. Intuitive eating changed my life, and while healing my relationship with food took time, the journey was worth it.
One thing that was eye opening for me was how many food rules I had been carrying around. Simple things like not allowing myself to eat desserts on weekdays and completely avoiding pasta. It never once occurred to me that there was a disordered element to me but once I had the information, I couldn’t go back. I wasn’t honoring my body’s needs and fighting against my own hunger. I wanted to share some common food rules that might seem normal but could be signs of disordered eating.
What are Food Rules?
Food rules are a set of guidelines that dictate what, when, and how much you eat. They can show up in a lot of mainstream diets such as intermittent fasting, weight watchers, and the keto diet. These external rules don’t consider your body’s energy needs, which can fluctuate hourly and daily. These needs can be hunger and fullness signals, taste preferences, and bodily functions.
Societal standards are one of the reasons why disordered behaviors are so normalized. And because of these standards, eating disorders are often missed in health screenings. Even worse, eating disorder behaviors are praised in healthcare if you live in a larger body.
So what are some food rules that could be an eating disorder? Let’s break it down.
Food Rule: Cheat Days
We live in a culture that moralizes food as good or bad. Many foods are described as “sinful” while others described as “guilt-free”. A common sneaky food rule is only allowing yourself to eat certain foods on certain days or specific times of the day. Food such as desserts and snacks can be regulated to a “special weekend food”. I lived by this rule for so long and it was both liberating and terrifying when I finally let it go.
“Cheat day” is another way this can play out. Because this is so normalized, it can be hard to notice this rule’s impact on your emotional and physical wellbeing. One outcome is that foods that are limited to weekends start to take up more mental space. You might feel a sense of deprivation and notice yourself thinking about this food often. Sometimes this preoccupation can lead to binging or eating past fullness.
Food Rule: Substituting Foods
Have you ever substituted spaghetti squash for pasta? Don’t get me wrong, spaghetti squash is delicious but it’s not spaghetti. If you’re in the mood for spaghetti squash, then great! But if you really wanted pasta, you might still feel hungry and deprived. Even if you feel physically satiated, you won’t feel mentally satisfied. Which can lead to more preoccupation with that food. I remember the disappointment every time I ate spaghetti squash pasta. It just wasn’t the same.
Food Allergies Are Different
This food rule does not apply to food allergies and medical conditions such as celiac disease, diabetes, and acid reflux. With some allergies, substitutions are necessary to manage your health and honor your body’s physical needs. What I’m referring to is substitution based on anxiety around food, intentional weight loss, and fear of gaining weight.
Food Rule: Portion Control
Diet culture often emphasizes portion control, especially with certain food groups such as carbs. Portion control in dieting does not consider your physical hunger and fullness signals, since it’s an external food rule. Portion control can be not finishing a meal even though you’re still hungry. Or measuring out your portions ahead of time and not adjusting based on hunger. Portion control is not allowing yourself to eat food because you feel like you’ve just eaten even though you’re still hungry. Controlling your portions is restrictive and hunger is your body’s way of telling you it needs more food.
Food Rule: Counting Calories
Calorie information is everywhere from food labels to restaurant menus. Many diets focus on a set number of calories per day and tracking those calories, usually in an app. The nature of tracking calories leads to more preoccupation around food since you’re always thinking about it. Calorie counting can give a false sense of control, but that feeling is temporary. The reality is that you feel more controlled by the food rule than the other way around.
Calorie limits don’t consider your body’s changing needs. Your body may need more energy on certain days than others. Many diets set calorie limits that are very low regardless of how much activity you are getting throughout the day. Since your body registers this as famine, it can lead to irritability, dizziness, difficulty concentrating and binging. Because it’s hard to eat mindfully when you’re in starvation mode.
Calorie counting can look like not eating all day before a celebratory meal. This is often due to “saving up your calories” for the meal. This can lead you to enter the meal in a ravenous state, making it hard to be present and enjoy the meal. Your body goes into starvation mode, making it more likely to eat past fullness or binge.
Food Rule: Forcing Yourself to Exercise After a Meal
Exercising can become disordered if it’s a way to give yourself permission to eat, such as forcing yourself to go to the gym after a meal. Disordered exercise can present like pushing yourself to run when you’re feeling tired, sick, or just not up for it. Exercising can become a way to punish yourself for eating certain foods and makes eating conditional.
Chronic Dieting and Weight Cycling
Food rules can feel like you’re being set up to fail. Yet diet companies put the blame on you, even though diets are not sustainable long term. Research shows that 95% of people gain all their weight after 5 years on a diet. Since our bodies don’t know the difference between famine and dieting, they will fight back to keep us alive.
Weight cycling is the process of losing and gaining weight over multiple periods. This process can be hard on our bodies leading to metabolic issues, blood sugar issues, and other health complications. Dieting can also lead to eating disorders, which have a high mortality rate due to health complications such as low blood sugar and heart failure.
Further, diet culture contributes to weight stigma which can prevent people from seeking healthcare due to fear of being body-shamed. Weight stigma can also create biases in healthcare professionals, leading to certain conditions being misdiagnosed or ignored.
Intuitive Eating
Intuitive eating is an evidenced-based framework that focuses on helping you connect with your physical sensations and cultivate body trust. Created by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch, Intuitive Eating has 10 principles that guide the practice including:
1. Reject the Diet Mentality
2. Honor Your Hunger
3. Make Peace With Food
4. Challenge the Food Police
5. Respect Your Fullness
6. Discover the Satisfaction Factor
7. Honor Your Feelings Without Using Food
8. Respect Your Body
9. Exercise-Feel the Difference
10. Honor Your Health with Gentle Nutrition
Intuitive eating is rooted in Health at Every Size and encourages eating for pleasure and celebration alongside bodily needs. Intuitive eating can be self-guided, by reading the book and using the workbook. This works for many people, but you might find you need more support. You can work with an intuitive eating healthcare professional such as a registered dietician and a therapist.
How Do I know if Intuitive Eating is Right for Me?
Intuitive eating is great but it’s not for everybody. And that’s okay. If you’re struggling with an active eating disorder or early in your recovery, intuitive eating may not be right for you yet. Since eating disorders disrupt our hunger and fullness cues, it would be difficult to implement all the intuitive eating principles early in recovery. Intuitive eating can be helpful later in recovery and for many, is often the goal in having peace with food. If you find yourself already questioning diet culture, then intuitive eating can be the next step.
Where can I learn More?
Podcasts are what introduced me to intuitive eating. One of my favorite podcasts is Food Psych with Christy Harrison, author of Anti-Diet and The Wellness Trap. If you’re interested in more books, there is Evelyn Tribole’s book Intuitive Eating and a workbook.
Looking for Specialized Support?
Are you struggling with disordered eating? I’m a Certified Eating Disorder Specialist and Intuitive Eating Counselor and would love to help. As a therapist with over 15 years in practice, I combine advanced training and lived experience to help LGBTQ teens and adults find peace with food. I aim to build a safe, trusting space where you can be honest about your struggles and be your full self. I use art therapy, IFS, and practical strategies to help people find healing.
Ready to get started and want to see if it’s a good fit? I’m happy to set up a free phone or video consultation to discuss what you’re looking for.
